There is a new craze doing the rounds at the moment – The Tree of Life Brelfie. For those of you who don’t know what a brelfie is, it is a breastfeeding selfie. These pictures use an app called PicsArt to superimpose a tree with roots onto a breastfeeding picture before using different art styles to add an effect to the picture.
They are incredible pictures to look at but I have to admit that I was dubious at first. I was worried that despite being visually stunning and despite being a symbol of a proud mother, they would soon just become the latest fuel on the fire of the whole breast vs formula feeding debate. Usually calm and centred women would once again become enraged because they perceived a beautiful picture to be slighting their choice of feeding. Now due to a number of issues I formula fed my children exclusively after the first few weeks and I was at times shamed for this. However, I really do not see the need for any such debate or ill feeling. Babies need to be fed and as long as they are fed then end of story!
I will happily say that I have so far been wrong in my prediction. All of the pictures that I have seen have been viewed as the beautiful, life affirming, proud mummy moments that they were meant to be. And so do you know what, I decided to do my own. Even though it didn’t work out for me, I did try. I am proud that I tried. I never got a picture of me feeding baby boy but I did get one of me feeding baby girl and so I am celebrating that fact! I am a proud mother!
Share your brelfies proudly ladies!
Your baby is placed in your arms after a tiring yet fulfilling labour, you look into their eyes and you are flooded with a rush of emotion. You are instantly bonded to this tiny bundle. Happens to everyone! Right? Not for me!
I was woken up from a general anaesthetic and my beautiful baby boy was handed to me yet all I felt was numb and groggy. The last I remembered I was pregnant and all of a sudden I had a very real baby in my arms. There was no labour or natural delivery, just go to sleep, wake up and ta dah here’s your baby!
We stayed in hospital for 3 days during which I picked up a sickness bug and just felt generally ill. The pain from the emergency c-section was worse than I had imagined it would be and the nights when Mr K had to leave us were awful. When I was told that I could go home if I wanted to I leapt at the chance.
It was when we got home and were together as a family that I began to see things clearly. I loved my son but I didn’t feel particularly bonded with him. I felt terrible at this realisation! I must be the worse mother in the world! What could I do to change this? Obviously I googled it! The results that came up were actually very comforting. I found that it was perfectly natural to feel this way. I mean, I was only just getting to know this new person so naturally it might take a bit of time before we completely gelled. I took things a day at a time and when my son was about 6 weeks old I had a eurika moment! This was my son and he was mine!
For some people that magical moment happens straight away but for others it may take some time. There is nothing wrong with that!
How did it happen for you?
image credit – http://www.thescanlons.net/weblog/comments/baby_instructions_for_new_parents