A child of two halves

This month we have been to two very positive parents evenings. Mr K and I have sat there and listened to how our 2 eldest children are polite, friendly, hard working and good listeners. We have been told that they have excellent manners and they try their best. They may, at times, be rather talkative and S (formally baby boy but now that he is 8 it doesn’t seem quite so fitting) needs to remember his capital letters and full stops, but they have settled in brilliantly at their new school and are a joy to be around! I honestly couldn’t wish to be told anything better. I do have one question though… where are the children that I know at home?

Ok, so I obviously know that my children do have those good qualities and I do see them. My children are friendly and kind. They do have good manners at times and they are very talkative. But goodness me, how I sometimes wish that I could have the school version of my children when at home! Instead I get the tantrums, the screaming, the fighting with each other, the “I hate you”, the “no I won’t tidy my room”, the “you are mean”, the refusing to go to sleep and the not sleeping in their own beds. It seems like school get one half of my children and I get the opposite half! I am glad that my children are well behaved at school, don’t get me wrong. I used to teach and I know first hand how hard it can be to have a disruptive class, but I just wish that my children could continue with their school persona when at home.

We had literally only just finished S’ parents evening today and weren’t even home before S started to shout at his sisters because of a small, insignificant misdemeanor. M retaliated by mimicking S in a silly voice which almost caused an accident when S tried to reach over E in, what I can only assume, was an attempt to recreate a recent scene from The Oscars! On arriving home, the fact that tea was going to take 30 minutes to cook made me the “worst mum in the world” followed by E being the “worst sister ever” because she was, admittedly, being extremely annoying and trying to take M’s place on the sofa, kicking and elbowing M out of the way in the process. Requests to do homework are frequently met with eye rolling on a good day, flat out refusal most of the time or a full blown meltdown¬† if I am really lucky. If I dare to ask one of my children to pick up a toy that doesn’t belong to them (or even a toy that does belong to them) it is the end of the world and God forbid they are not allowed time on the PlayStation!

I talk to other Mums in the playground and they laugh when I tell them what my children are like at home.¬† I am met with “what, really? Surely not! They couldn’t possibly be like that. They look like butter wouldn’t melt”. Oh believe me, those little angels were screaming blue murder and trying to decapitate one another only 2 hours ago. Only the other day, a fellow Mum told me how nice it must be to have 3 children as they must entertain each other and be so close. Yep, it is a day at the park… Jurassic Park!

I know, I know… I am their safe place. I must sound ungrateful. My children are my world and I wouldn’t trade them for anything (well maybe uninterrupted sleep). I have done the research and read the reports. At home is where they feel safe and secure. Here they are free to let out their feelings because they are loved unconditionally. And they honestly are loved unconditionally! But seriously, why can’t they feel safe, secure and loved without being little twats!!

Do your children have dual personalities?

Image Credit – Moms Got Ink on Facebook

I kept the kids alive

        

I savour the (now very rare) times that both of my children take a daytime nap. The house has a serene stillness and I almost daren’t move for risk of disturbing the peace. I take a second to look around me but then comes the DECISION… do I sit down, enjoy a hot cup of tea and watch one of the 1000s of programmes I have recorded yet never actually get time to watch, or do I tackle the housework?

I honestly believe that it is one of the most difficult decisions in my life at the moment. Housework or me time? Do something to benefit everyone or do something to benefit me? Normally I do the jobs (not that anyone can tell as I openly admit that my house is more often than not on a sliding scale of messiness – bit messy to nuclear disaster). Occasionally though I will think ‘sod it, I’m having a brew’.

Whilst I enjoy those times that I take a moment for myself I have to admit that I often feel guilty doing so. It’s as though every sip of my hot tea is taunting me and telling me that the washing needs doing or the toys need putting away. It’s on those days as well that I often find myself feeling extra paranoid about what other people think. Mr K comes in from work and I straight away jump to defend myself as to why the house is edging towards the nuclear disaster end of the messiness scale. He more than likely wasn’t going to say anything! 

Today however I am taking some time for myself without any guilt whatsoever. The children have been absolute nightmares (I still love them!) and right now the only way that I can guarantee that we will all greet Mr K this evening with our sanity intact is for me to sit in the kitchen dunking biscuits in my brew and not thinking at all about the box of cars and trains that baby boy tipped on the floor!

So today the only accomplishment I may be able to claim is that I kept the children alive but hey it’s still an accomplishment!

Image credit – http://www.someecards.com/