Mummy Guilt


Where have the past 8 (nearly 9) months gone? Seriously, how have they passed so quickly? It honestly doesn’t seem that long ago since baby girl was born and now she is growing up with frightening speed!

Over the past month and a half she has started to pull herself up to standing and can now crawl at the speed of light. Come on now child, slow down! Please!

I love that she is learning new things and I am incredibly proud of her when she masters a hard practised skill. It just scares me if I am honest. It scares me that these days, when my children are young and need me, are flying by and I worry that I am not making the most of them. I am not making the most of the time I get to play with my children, or cuddle my children, or read with my children. Instead I get frustrated that baby boy wants me to do a jigsaw with him when I am trying (and failing) to clean the kitchen. I get annoyed when baby girl won’t stop crying and just wants to be held when I am trying (and failing) to hang the washing out. Instead of revelling in the time I have with my babies and making the most of every single second, new skill and milestone, I am stressing about things that need to be done and aren’t getting done. In short I am missing out on my gorgeous children.

The funny thing is that I haven’t even gone back to work yet. I am still at home full time and yet I feel like I am missing out! That obviously then sets off a new worry about being a full time working mum and missing out on even more things. My god, the guilt is everywhere!

The next few weeks before I start my job are going to be hectic but I really need to slow down and spend some quality time with my beautiful, perfect children. They deserve my time and full attention whilst we have the opportunity. Things are going to be very different soon and I can’t help but feel sad and slightly resentful that someone else is going to spend the majority of time with my babies.

Mummy guilt is hard!

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1 year old!

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A few weeks ago baby boy turned one! We celebrated with a trip to the aquarium and a small gathering of friends and family. Baby boy was amazed at the shimmery fish in the bright tanks. At one point it took all my strength to stop him from launching himself headfirst into the water with them. The Sharks were not as appealing to him as they were to Mr K and I but he found the piranhas hilarious. He had a lovely day. It was nice to spend some quality family time together.

I’m still finding it hard to believe that he is one though. He is growing up so quickly. It’s as if overnight my baby disappeared and in his place is a little boy.

He seems so much more independent already and is learning new skills everyday. This morning I found him trying to put a sock on his foot! His version was more like tapping his foot with the sock but the intention was there. He is interested in everything around him and even mundane objects excite him. His face lit up at the sight of a street sign whilst on a walk recently and a trip to ikea earlier in the week was just full of pointing and gazes of awe!

I love these new developments but at the same time I miss those baby days. I believe that as parents we should be able to decide whether or not our children turn one. Personally I would keep baby boy my little baby forever. I mean just think, once they’ve had that first birthday it’s a slippery slope to turning two!

Do you think children grow up too quickly?

Image credit – http://dcmetrotheaterarts.com/2013/03/15/dcmetrotheaterarts-is-one-year-old-today/

Growing up

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A few months ago I made a deal with baby boy that he would stop growing and stay a little baby forever. He has broken that deal! He is growing and developing every day and although I marvel in his accomplishments I can’t help but feel sad that he is no longer a little baby.

At almost 7 months he is becoming more independent than I ever dreamed he would be at this age. He no longer needs me to rock him to sleep, he likes to feed himself and, to my absolute horror, he squirmed out of a cuddle today! I almost cried! Where has the time gone? I knew that he would grow up one day but it is all happening too quickly.

I fear that I am not making the most of this time! I worry that I am wasting each day worrying about trivial matters and not paying close attention to the little things that baby boy is doing. I wish I could turn back time and spend every second marvelling at my baby boy, holding him and not letting him go. I can’t of course and so I must make do with making sure that I make the most of our time to come!

Do you feel that you are making the most of your children being young?

image credit – http://www.juxtapost.com/