Controlled crying – lifesaver?


For the past few weeks our house has been a no sleep zone. Baby boy decided that sleep was for wimps and so was waking up to 5 times a night, sometimes for an hour at a time. Mr K and I were struggling. Last Sunday was the last straw. I had finally managed to get baby boy back off to sleep at 3 in the morning after being awake on and off since 10pm and as soon as I got back in bed he woke up! If I hadn’t been so exhausted I would have cried. Instead I left him to cry. I’m not proud of it but I knew that if I had gone in to him again I would have shouted at him.

The next day I decided to find a better solution. I knew that baby boy needed to learn to settle himself to sleep without myself or Mr K being in the room so that if he woke at night he could go back to sleep on his own. I looked on google and found what seemed like hundreds of different ‘sleep solutions’. So many of them suggested leaving baby boy to cry and cry until he eventually fell asleep. Now after speaking to my Health Visitor I knew that getting baby boy to settle on his own would involve some crying but just leaving him to scream just seemed cruel.

After a lot of research I decided to try a version of the method suggested by Jo Frost (SuperNanny). Basically, baby boy was to be put in his cot, tired but awake, and then I was to leave the room. If he cried I was to leave him for 2 minutes before going in to settle him. If he cried again then he was to be left for 4 minutes before settling him, then 10 and then 15 (if crying continued then stay with 15 from then on). I discussed this with Mr K and we both agreed that we had to try it and be consistent.

The first night went well. He settled himself to sleep after the 10 minute check but before the 15 minute check. I was pleased with this as I thought that it would take longer. He woke in the night and again he settled before the 15 minute check. The second night was even better – he didn’t even make it to the 10 minute check and again only woke up once in the night and settled quickly. The rest of the week followed suit. Baby boy settles well at bedtime and a few nights has not even cried once. The longest we have gone in the night is to the first 15 minute check and a couple of times he has even woken up, moaned a bit and then gone back to sleep on his own.

I didn’t like the idea of leaving baby boy to cry at all but lack of sleep was killing me and this method has honestly saved my sanity. Baby boy is sleeping much better and despite what the critics may say, we are all a lot happier.

Have you used a controlled crying sleep method? Did it work for you?

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Co sleeping – yay or nay?


In just over 6 months baby boy has slept through (not woken at all) once. I’m not complaining though because mostly he sleeps very well, only waking a few times a night for his dummy. He hasn’t needed a night feed since he was roughly 3 months old. When he does wake up I try to be firm. I give him his dummy, cover him with his blanket and leave the room. I want him to learn to settle back to sleep on his own. I don’t leave him crying but I try not to pick him up. If Mr K goes in to him however it can be a different story. Sometimes he will do the same as me but other times he will just bring baby boy into bed with us, a sure fire way of him going back to sleep!

This letting baby boy sleep with us started a few weeks after he was born. He wasn’t a good sleeper at all (to be expected I know) and sleep deprivation was slowly killing us! We would take it in turns to sleep but even that was starting to fail as baby boy’s cries could keep a hibernating bear awake! One night we were both exhausted, so much so that I fell asleep whilst giving baby boy his bottle. Mr K took him off me and lay him in bed between us. That night we all slept for a solid block of time. It was amazing! I couldn’t help feeling guilty though. All of the guidance said that it was dangerous to co sleep. I was torn between needing to sleep and worrying that I was doing the wrong thing. A few more nights of zero sleep however and I was turning to trusty google yet again! I needed to see if we could co sleep safely. There was no way I was going to do it full time but on those nights that I really needed to I wanted to be sure that it could be safe.

To my surprise I found lots of articles promoting the benefits of co sleeping. Each one suggesting that co sleeping is extremely common in non western cultures and that it can promote bonding. There were some common sense suggestions such as keep baby away from pillows, let them sleep on top of the covers with their own blanket and never share a bed with baby if you have been smoking, drinking alcohol or taking drugs (as if you would!!).

I’m still not entirely sold on the idea and I certainly couldn’t do it full time (especially as baby boy is such a wriggler in his sleep) but on those nights when sleep is hard to come by I am happier knowing that he can come into bed with us and we can all sleep well. Maybe I’m making a rod for my own back but it works for us and to be honest that’s good enough for me.

What are your opinions on co sleeping?

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